Cultural Differences
I just insulted an old lady, in front of her daughter, in such a way that she will probably be fuming for an hour and may lose whatever remaining respect she had for foreigners, perhaps for the rest of her life.
What did I do? I answered her question without using a verb. In Korean, when you respond to someone older than you, you must use a polite verb form; using a simple verb without an honorific is too casual and considered rude. But I didn't even use a verb at all! That is the height of informality, the epitome of impoliteness. And it's true that many younger Koreans are not so concerned about these things any more, but she was old! And it's true that I am just a foreigner, but that, precisely, is the point. She will say, "Oh, just a foreigner, just a foreigner. They are all so rude." Or worse: "They are all so ignorant."
What happened? I was just perusing the fruit on offer at my local stand, and, since I'm short on cash, I was thinking, "What is the best deal; I'll look around until I find the cheapest thing." Just at that moment, she came up and asked politely, in Korean, "What do you want?" Now, you have to understand a few things here. First, Koreans salespeople always pester you incessantly, even when you are buying things you'd rather be left alone to ponder, like wine. Second, I had just been thinking about this phenomenon, annoyed with the fact that I would, in all likelihood, not be able to casually pick my produce. Third, while I know the Korean word for 'banana' (it is just 'banana'), I do not, or did not on a moments notice, know the polite form of 'I want'. So, I just said "banana" without any kind of please or anything.
Now, this might not seem so bad to you, and perhaps I am overreacting a little. But it certainly seemed rude to her. And just think, if every Westerner in Korea--or every non-Westerner in the U.S.--makes just one little culturally confused faux pas like that, as is probably unavoidable, the locals are left with scores of negative impressions. How can we, with all of our little differences, mix and still get along?
What did I do? I answered her question without using a verb. In Korean, when you respond to someone older than you, you must use a polite verb form; using a simple verb without an honorific is too casual and considered rude. But I didn't even use a verb at all! That is the height of informality, the epitome of impoliteness. And it's true that many younger Koreans are not so concerned about these things any more, but she was old! And it's true that I am just a foreigner, but that, precisely, is the point. She will say, "Oh, just a foreigner, just a foreigner. They are all so rude." Or worse: "They are all so ignorant."
What happened? I was just perusing the fruit on offer at my local stand, and, since I'm short on cash, I was thinking, "What is the best deal; I'll look around until I find the cheapest thing." Just at that moment, she came up and asked politely, in Korean, "What do you want?" Now, you have to understand a few things here. First, Koreans salespeople always pester you incessantly, even when you are buying things you'd rather be left alone to ponder, like wine. Second, I had just been thinking about this phenomenon, annoyed with the fact that I would, in all likelihood, not be able to casually pick my produce. Third, while I know the Korean word for 'banana' (it is just 'banana'), I do not, or did not on a moments notice, know the polite form of 'I want'. So, I just said "banana" without any kind of please or anything.
Now, this might not seem so bad to you, and perhaps I am overreacting a little. But it certainly seemed rude to her. And just think, if every Westerner in Korea--or every non-Westerner in the U.S.--makes just one little culturally confused faux pas like that, as is probably unavoidable, the locals are left with scores of negative impressions. How can we, with all of our little differences, mix and still get along?
posted by Brian at 8:29 PM
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